Pillars of Security: Strong Dads, Strong Kids

Security

That is what a father is meant to provide

I think of fatherly security in two ways.  Financial security and physical security.

We’ll start with physical security.  

Young children often see their dad as some kind of superhero.  Able to move heavy things they can’t imagine doing themselves.  They believe if a bad guy wanted to hurt them dad could take them in a fight

It’s primal and may seem outdated, but it’s what kids need to feel safe.  As your children (and you) get older, it becomes increasingly important for you to maintain a level of fitness that shows them you are physically capable of stepping in and exerting physical force when necessary.

As they mature, they also need a role model and a guide for how to become and stay physically healthy in adulthood. 

Whether you're doing it on purpose or not you are a role model for your kids.

When I was growing up, my dad didn’t see value in working out.  He had physically demanding jobs and assumed he had his bases covered. When I became an adult I followed in his footsteps wIthout really thinking about it.

Eventually  it became clear that relying on work to provide all the physical activity I needed was not working for me.  And as he aged it became increasingly clear it wasn’t working for my dad either. 

I made a conscious choice to change.  I put a lot of time and energy into fitness goals. That’s a habit I hope my kids will pick up through osmosis more than anything.

I’m not saying you need to start training for triathlons but you do need to think about how your fitness impacts your children.  Both their confidence in your ability to protect them and their confidence in their own capacities in the future are at stake. Confidence in you and confidence in themselves will go a long way in creating a sense of security in their minds.

Another way to provide a sense of physical security to your kids is home security.  Lock your doors at night.  Have a plan for what happens in case of a break in.  Setup security cameras if you need to.  Demonstrate the ways you are protecting them.

You can’t remove  every anxiety your child may have.  But these simple steps will give them more confidence in their safety. We can do it for our kids. That’s the power of fathering up.

That’s all for now. I’ll cover some thoughts on financial security next week (note: it’s not all about money).

In the meantime, let me know your thoughts on helping your kids have a sense of security:
Is there anything you would add as important?
What do you struggle with to help your kids feel safe?