The life changing magic of fathering up.

The year was 2010. I was a 21 year old hedonist. I embraced Libertarian politics and the “greed is good” mantra, without shame.

My hobbies included eating and drinking as much as I wanted, playing Rock Band late into the night and not much else. I drove to work. I sat at my desk. I came home. I sat in my couch. The cycle repeated, day after day.

Then my wife and I found out she was pregnant.

As the little person inside my wife grew, so did we. Her for the obvious reasons. I was just trying to keep up. After countless pints of ice cream and plates of chicken Parmesan, I was at least 50 pounds overweight.

I was excited to become a father but like a lot of dads the reality of the situation didn’t set in until later in the pregnancy. I realized something needed to change.

I remember the moment. I was working in my yard (I couldn’t spend my whole life on the couch, no matter how hard I tried), when it hit me. My life looked nothing like what I wanted for my future children.

I was spiritually empty.

Physically limited.

On the fast track to, heart disease, diabetes and an early grave.

Whether you believe in a literal Hell (metaphysical or otherwise) it was an apt description of where I saw my life headed if I continued down this path.

I resolved to change. I had enough of “adulthood” meaning I got to do whatever I want with no responsibility or accountability. I was done living like an oversized child. It was time to become the father I wanted for my children. Is was time to father up.

I wanted my children to have a spiritual role model. This meant getting crystal clear on what I believe about Jesus of Nazareth. I read the bible cover to cover. It opened my eyes to truths about the human condition I cannot fully express in words.

I related to the nation of Israel, always rejecting the patient loving God always calling them back to Himself. Jesus as Messiah and Son of God became more real for me than ever before.

I am not here to proselytize or evangelize, but getting clear on these big spiritual questions changed my life.

Spiritual changes led to more. I needed to reverse course on my weight gain. My wife and I both started dieting and both lost and kept off the weight. I started biking to work, realizing the sedentary life was slowly killing my body and soul.

Those small changes led to many more in the 13 years that have followed. But, it all started with the realization that it was time to be the man my kids deserved to call father

I cannot say it’s been nothing but progress ever since. My spiritual life, physical health and relationships have all had their ups and downs. However, I always find motivation to be the best version of myself when I look at my kids. We can’t always be our best, but our kids deserve for us to try.

Let’s Father Up together.

You can change: Whether you’re just starting life as a father or you’re a decade in, we all have areas in life where we can improve.

The goal of this newsletter is shifting from a bit from personal writing project to primarily focus on helping parents (especially fathers) seek spiritual and physical self improvement. If you know anyone who might benefit from some inspiration and encouragement in this area feel free to share.