Ironman World Champion Sam Laidlow's biggest asset.

Since his first triathlon at age 4, Sam Laidlow’s dad has been by his side.

Through most of his pro career Sam has been coached by his father Richard. There is no doubt Richard is a high caliber coach and Sam is a phenomenal athlete. However, I think their talents are amplified by the father son relationship.

Parents are in a unique position to know their children better than anyone. They have a chance to see their children grow, learn and develop a love for sport.

You probably aren’t coaching your child to be the next Ironman World Champion. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t coaching your child.

Every parent can be a coach. Let’s see how.

Look for your child’s passion

Sam and Richard are fortunate to both love triathlon.

When your passion and your child’s passion align it can be a beautiful thing. Take note when they show interest in something you love to do. Look for opportunities to include them. That can be as low key as a neighborhood bike ride or as intense as running a race together. Talk to them about your experience and point them in the right direction.

When you see your kid is spending all there time drawing, writing fan fiction, making jewelry or practicing for a sport, give them the space to explore that. If it’s a new skill you can learn, learn with them. Try to stay one step ahead so you can give pointers and feedback along the way.

Help them achieve their goals, not yours

A common trap is forcing your passion on your kids. A coach is only effective if the athlete wants to improve in that activity. You can criticize someone golf swing all day, but it’s not going to help them, at all, if they want to play croquet.

Remember children are not clones.

You may know nothing about what your child is interested in. You can still pay attention to what they are naturally drawn towards. Give them the resources they need to develop a skill or practice a hobby and encourage them. You may need to find them other coaches.

Talk to your child about their goals. Help them develop the discipline necessary to make progress through regular motivation.

Teaching skills and providing feedback.

Every child has skills they need to learn. This can be as simple as learning to do the dishes and as complex as conflict resolution. Bringing up children into adulthood means helping them learn to do these things on their own.

Teaching skills is a simple process, but one we often neglect. It feels faster and easier to do things ourselves than to teach our children. But this leaves us with a bunch of college kids who have no idea how to use laundry machine.

To teach, simply tell them what you are doing, show them how to do it, then ask them to do it in front of you. Give feedback and clarifying instructions as needed.

Give them the space to fail. This can be simple, like pointing out when they didn’t complete a chore the way they were taught. It’s more complex when it involves people and relationships. Your child isn’t going to be perfect at conflict resolution or dealing with difficult people without a little trial and error.

Talk to them about their problems. Ask thought provoking questions. Give them guidance but don’t prescribe the answers all the time.

In summary: We might not all be coaches to our kids in the traditional sense, but every parent can be a coach. You can help your children pursue their goals.

• Pay attention to what lights them up.

• Help them with their goals.

• Teach them skills and give feedback.