Make connections that last

Male loneliness and friendliness was a problem before the pandemic and has only gotten worse sense then. In 2021 15% of males reported having 0 close friends compared to just 3% in 1990.

One of the things I have cherished the most in the years post-divorce is my group of friends. I get together with a group of friends weekly. There is no agenda. We catch up, pontificate about the future, whatever we want to talk about. Often we have the kind of conversation you can only have in a small group of trusted friends.

This is something many men crave. We get asked by other men frequently if they can join us. Unfortunately once things grow beyond a certain point they become something other than this small group of friends sharing life. They become an organization. You need structure, a leader, an agenda. You lose the magic

We say no to these guys to preserve the group. What are these men to do?

Simply saying “I’m going to be at this place at this time. You can join me if you want.” goes a long way. My cousin invited me to meet at a park for meditation. Guess how much meditation actually happened? Practically zero. But that’s not the point. We now had space for friendship to grow.

We invited more people until it got to the point that any more would mean someone was left out of the conversation. It’s now one of the most valuable parts of my week.

So take a lesson from my cousin. Put the invitation out there. The point is not the activity. The point is giving your life space to build connection with people.