1000x Relationships

How important is one relationship compared to another?

This Saturday, after my long run, I spent a lot of time working outside around the house. In my opinion, both of those activities are better when you have two people talking back and forth in your ears. So, it was a day full of listening to podcasts.

The one that stuck out most was Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, on the Tim Ferriss Show. Talking about relationships, he said, the difference is not 1× 2× 3× 4x, it’s 1× 10× 100× 1000x. The difference in importance of relationships is exponential. Yes, it matters how you treat your waiter. But it matters much more how you treat your coworkers, your friends and your family.

For many of us, our 1000x relationships are our kids and our wife. But do we treat them like they really are that much more important than the other relationships in our lives? Would we rather go out for drinks with our buddies than take our daughters our for a meal one on one?

At times I struggle to connect with my kids, especially my teenage daughter. I’m not alone. One survey found that 7 out of 10 parents struggle to communicate with their kids.

How to combat this disconnect?
- Observe their interests
- Engage

For my oldest daughter, right now that means talking about dance.

I don’t “get” dance. Yes I appreciate the artistry that goes into some of the dance routines, but dance is mostly critiqued on skills for a talent I could take or leave.

But, my daughter loves dance, and I love my daughter. So, when it’s competition day (like it was yesterday): I show up, of course, and pay close attention to what she did really well so I can build her up. But I also watch the other dances, so we have something to talk about later.

In everyday life, engaging with her interest means talking about stretching routines and watching the occasional episode of Dance Moms (she just discovered this reality show like it’s new. It’s possibly more ridiculous than you remember).

I’ve found when I do this, it’s much more likely we’ll end up having a meaningful conversation about something completely unrelated. Conversations about what matters most.

At the end of the day those deep conversations are what lead to deeper relationships. And I don’t know about you, but I know when I’m laying on my deathbed, deep relationships with those I love most are how I will judge my life.

Time to invest in those 1000x relationships.